Handbook of Life's Complications?...

...I never understood why life has to be so complicated. When I was younger, things seemed so easy. Seeing the adult world through the eyes of a child is completely different than seeing it through adult eyes. Life seemed to have some kind of a code that it followed, like some handbook that gave lessons on how to react or handle things that you encounter in your life. I felt sure it was some secret that couldn't be shared with someone until they were 18 and considered an adult. Then all of the sudden you knew how to handle everything as an adult and the rest of life just fell into place. The job, the house, the car, the relationship, the marriage and then finally the kids. After kids you just grew old together as a family and lived happily ever after. So when I turned 18 and nothing got easier, no one came to me and told me the secret of growing up, and I didn't all of the sudden gain intelligence and intuition that made me an adult, i started to think maybe i just was not lucky enough to have what we were supposed to have, the kind of life people who deserved it got. Things just got harder from there.Then I realized that I was not the only one. A lot of people apparently didn't get the handbook. Everyone I encountered had some story that was either similar or even worse than mine. It was then I started to realize that there was no instruction manual. All you have is your personal instinct to go by, your own sense of right and wrong. The decisions you make are based on what you feel needs to be done at that time for whatever reason. This is the reason why life gets so complicated. Everyone runs their life on momentary feelings without the consideration of someone else's feelings. So I started thinking that if I just payed a little more attention to how what I'm doing would make me feel if I was on the other side of the situation, and if it would make me feel bad, don't do it, maybe my life would get less complicated.... Maybe I'm wrong, but what if I'm not?...    

"Happily Ever After..." The Truth...

...In reality, love is really nothing but a mythical concept used to describe the euphoria felt when an intimate bond between two people is nurtured with some aspect of comfort or contentment from both sides. This "feeling" can be interpreted in a familial sense, a friendly companionship, or in a relationship with a significant other. Some people take the stories they hear about this fairytale love with some white knight that comes and rescues the damsel in distress and they live "Happily Ever After..." in love to heart. The fact of the matter is that this "fairytale love" does not exist. After the newness of the beginning of a relationship where all the "getting to know you" happens wears off, there is nothing left but two people who were raised in different backgrounds with different morals who are trying to find a way to coexist. The fondness that they have built for one another is what they now refer to as "love" and sometimes that is not enough to hold people together. Most people do not escape the breakup unscathed and are heartbroken and lost because they are without that comfortableness they mistook for "love." The point of this is... don't waste your life looking for that non-existent fairytale. Take advantage of the here and now and embrace it with your very soul. The bonds that you have formed that are strong enough to be mistaken for love are all you get in this life. Your soulmate is the one that you feel most comfortable and most like yourself around, someone you can be happy with despite the lack of shining armor and "happily ever after..."

Change For The Better...

...It really bothers me when I see people that I used to hang out with and they have come no farther and done nothing more with themselves then they were doing five or sometimes ten years ago. They are still going through the same struggles that they were, sometimes with different people or in different places, but always the same struggles. They never make any kind of progress toward success. There comes a time in your life when you have to at least try to change a situation that is unhealthy. You eventually have to take responsibility for your actions that you took and the part that you played in getting yourself into a certain predicament. At that point you start deciding what you are going to do to change your circumstances and put yourself in a better situation. If something makes you unhappy, change it. No one has the power to do it but you, no one can make you change or change your life, only you. I spent a large part of my life living like I had no responsibilities, like nothing mattered, because in all honesty, nothing did. I was on a path of self destruction, doomed for failure. Not saying that my life is all peaches and cream these days, I am still struggling, but my worst day now is better than my best day then and I am still making progress toward a better future. Contrary to popular belief, and regardless of the lies people tell themselves, the partying life does get old and when it does it is no fun anymore.It is a very cold and lonely place. It is amazing how one can be lonely in a room full of people, but when you get to that stage, you are. You just sit there at the bar, with other people or alone, and look around at all the people around you. The women in their tight clothes and loose manners, trying desperately to look appealing while losing control of their judgment and their balance all at the same time. The men on constant patrol for the most vulnerable woman to get drunk in hopes that she will later give him her number and hoping to find that one tonight that will actually go home with him. Then there are the older patrons, the men that have been coming to this same bar everyday after work to tie one on because they can't go home and face their nagging wives without it. The divorced older ladies who don't really got it anymore, but are trying unsuccessfully to get it back. They all lead such lonely hopeless lives. Then there's you, and you can't help but wonder as you take another long drink of your beer, which category do I fit in to? What purpose or excuse do you use for spending every spare moment in someone's bar spending so much money that you are paying this month's light bill for them? Are you as pathetic as these lost souls that inhabit these establishments on any given night? All those painted faces with fake presentations of personalities that are not really them. The thoughts and the liquor send you out for a smoke, and you get to bear witness to a young couple making out in the parking lot. It reminds you of better days and you begin to think, and what do I have now? A whole bunch of good-time friends, but no bad-time buddies. This whole thought process has you thoroughly depressed, which just takes you right back in for another drink. It is a vicious cycle that takes you on a never-ending downward spiral. it is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and sometimes it takes someone else to reach in and grab on to you before you can pull out of it. Some people never get pulled out. I guess my whole point in this is that it is okay to party sometimes,but that kind of a lifestyle should change at some point. Especially when a person has responsibilities. It is up to that person to want to change though, and it saddens me to see people that haven't and probably never will do anything to help themselves...    

The Reason People Cheat...

...I would like to talk a little today about cheating. There are a few different concepts of cheating and men and women both view these differently. Some say that it's not really cheating unless you are married. Some say it's okay as long as you don't get caught. Other people believe it is a betrayal that is difficult to forgive, and still others see it as a sin. The problem is that both men and women have their own opinions in the matter. This is because like it or not, we are wired differently. Take men for instance. They enjoy the excitement of the chase way more than women and they take their trophies in sexual conquests, where as women see it as more of a courting ritual and their trophies are relationships. Men are a lot less likely to get emotionally attached than women are, and show surprising resilience after a break up. Women are emotionally attached to everything, and are devastated after a break up. With men, their emotions do not in any way whatsoever affect what they do from day to day. With women, any little action made means some show of some emotion. So when women cheat, they tend to try to maintain some sort of relationship with the person, allowing themselves to imagine emotions that aren't really there because they want for them to be so badly. When men cheat it is merely for the conquest of the chase for the most part, no emotion involved. There are a few exceptions to this rule, however. For instance in a situation where a man has a mistress. The man actually has feelings for the mistress and the woman he is in a relationship with. In essence, he is in a relationship with them both. This is a decision the man has made due to some part of his happiness he does not get from his woman, some satisfaction that he needs to look elsewhere to fulfill. Also, for instance when a woman has a lover. The woman really has feelings for the man, but the lover may give her the affection or attention that she does not get at home. So she maintains a relationship with them both, giving each what they need and still receiving what she needs in return. Another exception is one night stands. In this situation neither the man or the woman are looking for anything permanent or continuous. It is merely for sexual pleasures on both parts and no emotion or personal information are really shared. When it is over, they part and are nothing more than strangers once again. No matter what the situation is, things like this happen everyday. The only way to even try to prevent it is to attempt to be everything your significant other needs, to ensure that you fill all of their needs and that they are completely satisfied. This is no easy feat for any one person which when it all boils down, is the reason people cheat...     

Me As A Mom...

...Every day I am amazed by the personal miracle that is my baby. She is growing so quickly and is developing such an individual personality that I am in awe of her progress. I know that all parents are partial to their own child, but I believe that it is okay to be biased. I often feel insecure about my capabilities as a mother and I wonder if I am making the right decisions when raising her. It really is such a big responsibility, raising a child, knowing that every action you make in front of that child may have some kind of impact on who they become in the future, it is a little overwhelming at times. I ponder over every choice and in the back of my mind I am always thinking about how it is going to help or hinder her development. Sometimes I feel like I am worrying too much, thinking too much into things, but then I think about what would happen if that one decision I decided to be relaxed on was the one decision that impacted her life and meant the difference between her success or her becoming a victim of circumstance. I am responsible for everything that my baby sees, hears, feels, and is exposed to. That is a lot of responsibility for anyone.So I second guess myself on everything and I always feel like I am under scrutiny by every person around me when I am with my daughter. I try to be extra careful with every decision or action that involves my baby. Some people judge me and call me crazy, but I look at it like this...there are thousands of parents out there that don't have the time or will to pay that much attention to their children and how they are affected by the actions they make as parents. I consider my child one of the luckier ones that doesn't have to deal with that and she is happy, and healthy, and learning more everyday. So judge me if you want to, but in the end, when it is all said and done and my child has grown I will be able to say that me and her father as parents raised her well and we earned our right to call ourselves parents...

Human Respect...

...The word respect is defined as a feeling of appreciative regard and a willingness to show consideration or appreciation for someone. In today's society I think that the value of the word has been lost to people as a whole. What it really boils down to is treating people the way that you would want them to treat you. You wouldn't want someone to talk down to you, or to discredit your opinions, or to treat you as if you were not worthy of their time, so you shouldn't treat other people that way. Yet a lot of people do based on premature judgments of strangers, or even the comfortableness of family and friends. In order to get respect you have to give it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and no one has the right to judge that opinion or its truth to its owner. Everyone deserves instant respect per their right as a human being. Some people might do things that make you respect them more, or maybe less, but everyone deserves at least that initial, basic respect. I think the reason for this is because no one really knows what a person has been through or how it affected them on the inside but that person. No one can live the life of another, and no one can feel what another person actually feels inside. Every person has their own story, their own skeletons and secrets. If you don't you are not human. All people fought their own personal battles to get where they are today, some of them lost those battles, some of them won. So everyone deserves the respect that is due for doing the best they can in their situation, holding on to their beliefs in the face of their adversaries, overcoming whatever personal obstacles they have encountered in their life's path, and still having the courage to get up every morning and face another day of whatever private heaven or hell they live in. We would do good to remember this when dealing with situations concerning other people and give them their human respect....

My Poetry Blog...

...I started a new blog today specifically for my poetry. I have been writing poetry for a long time and have never felt that it was good enough to ever do anything with it. Recently I have decided to take a blind leap and see if I can get some public opinion on some of it. The first way I thought of to do that was to make a blog for it. I just created it today and have not as of yet posted anything but a welcome message, however feel free to check it out if you are interested and I will try to get some poems posted on it soon. Thank you all for your support and here is the link if you want to take a look...
http://havenoftherose.blogspot.com/