Change For The Better...

...It really bothers me when I see people that I used to hang out with and they have come no farther and done nothing more with themselves then they were doing five or sometimes ten years ago. They are still going through the same struggles that they were, sometimes with different people or in different places, but always the same struggles. They never make any kind of progress toward success. There comes a time in your life when you have to at least try to change a situation that is unhealthy. You eventually have to take responsibility for your actions that you took and the part that you played in getting yourself into a certain predicament. At that point you start deciding what you are going to do to change your circumstances and put yourself in a better situation. If something makes you unhappy, change it. No one has the power to do it but you, no one can make you change or change your life, only you. I spent a large part of my life living like I had no responsibilities, like nothing mattered, because in all honesty, nothing did. I was on a path of self destruction, doomed for failure. Not saying that my life is all peaches and cream these days, I am still struggling, but my worst day now is better than my best day then and I am still making progress toward a better future. Contrary to popular belief, and regardless of the lies people tell themselves, the partying life does get old and when it does it is no fun anymore.It is a very cold and lonely place. It is amazing how one can be lonely in a room full of people, but when you get to that stage, you are. You just sit there at the bar, with other people or alone, and look around at all the people around you. The women in their tight clothes and loose manners, trying desperately to look appealing while losing control of their judgment and their balance all at the same time. The men on constant patrol for the most vulnerable woman to get drunk in hopes that she will later give him her number and hoping to find that one tonight that will actually go home with him. Then there are the older patrons, the men that have been coming to this same bar everyday after work to tie one on because they can't go home and face their nagging wives without it. The divorced older ladies who don't really got it anymore, but are trying unsuccessfully to get it back. They all lead such lonely hopeless lives. Then there's you, and you can't help but wonder as you take another long drink of your beer, which category do I fit in to? What purpose or excuse do you use for spending every spare moment in someone's bar spending so much money that you are paying this month's light bill for them? Are you as pathetic as these lost souls that inhabit these establishments on any given night? All those painted faces with fake presentations of personalities that are not really them. The thoughts and the liquor send you out for a smoke, and you get to bear witness to a young couple making out in the parking lot. It reminds you of better days and you begin to think, and what do I have now? A whole bunch of good-time friends, but no bad-time buddies. This whole thought process has you thoroughly depressed, which just takes you right back in for another drink. It is a vicious cycle that takes you on a never-ending downward spiral. it is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and sometimes it takes someone else to reach in and grab on to you before you can pull out of it. Some people never get pulled out. I guess my whole point in this is that it is okay to party sometimes,but that kind of a lifestyle should change at some point. Especially when a person has responsibilities. It is up to that person to want to change though, and it saddens me to see people that haven't and probably never will do anything to help themselves...